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Self Expression

Updated: May 2, 2021

I was meditating today and an epiphany of some sort came to me. Again I can only ever speak for myself but perhaps some of you who may read this maybe able to relate.

I believe that ideas and creativity is everywhere around us, but art is an expression of ourselves, it has to come through this instrument, this self, to manifest on this planet.

"Self"is who we are with all our experiences, our understanding and our choices. An artist can manifest creativity on to this planet through their self.

Now, I am someone who dabbles in a few different forms of art. Many are like this..

For me, I paint, I am a film maker, I used to sing - "light music" (not so much now) and I love scribbling little pieces of poetry ( if you can call it that! lol), I've even dabbled in acting.. and they are all forms of expression. Self expression..However, nothing has ever touched me as deeply as, when i have performed a margam. I have tried to understand why I have such a deep connection. Even when I direct a film, I feel something is missing, but when I'm dancing I'm all there.

My personal finging is this, In many art forms you utilise other instruments to express the idea or the energy/emotion (energy in motion) /bhava whatever you want to call it ..

In painting we use paint, a canvas is utilised;

poetry, pen and paper;

film, a camera and it is an amalgamation of an entire cast and crew's creation;

singing is the voice alone,

and acting, well you can only express within a characters role and within the directors vision.Especially film acting is very controlled. Perhaps theatre and live performance is more raw because there is a certain amount freedom when it is live, but other than a monologue you are constantly reacting.

But for me, in a margam alone, I use my entire body, life experiences, being, all my understanding, to create this art. All of my existence has to be connected to create this art. No wonder it has been so meditative for me. I can only imagine what an ecstatic experience, the artist would feel when they both sing and dance.. live.. the way the great Balasaraswati did...

You know it is such a pity not many are able to do this these days, we have not been taught to perform in this manner.. I wonder why..

The only artist in the Bharathanatyam field that I know of, who performs this way, in this day and age is Nrithya Pillai. It is beautiful indeed and must be quite an experience..

I have requested some artists to sing and perform during shoots, Roja Kannan mam, Jayanthi Subramaniam, Oh yes Shwetha Krishna ( Odissi dancer) but I personally haven't seen this happening in the performance space. Will be so lovely to see more of this.

I dream of learning this, must go to paatu class again lol

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